Try to figure THIS out and learn a bit about me:

<form action=’http://www.kwiz.biz/simplesurveys/do-survey.php’ method=’post’ target=’_new’><table border=1 bordercolor=#efefef cellspacing=0><tr><td valign=top align=center colspan=2><b><i>TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF – The Survey</i></b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question1′ value=’TELL+ME+ABOUT+YOURSELF+-+The+Survey’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type1′ value=’2′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Name:</td><td align=left><b>RJ</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question2′ value=’Name%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type2′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Birthday:</td><td align=left><b>September 19, 1982</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question3′ value=’Birthday%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type3′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Birthplace:</td><td align=left><b>Puerto Rico</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question4′ value=’Birthplace%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type4′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Current Location:</td><td align=left><b>Puerto Rico</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question5′ value=’Current+Location%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type5′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Eye Color:</td><td align=left><b>Dark Brown</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question6′ value=’Eye+Color%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type6′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Hair Color:</td><td align=left><b>Dark Browm</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question7′ value=’Hair+Color%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type7′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Height:</td><td align=left><b>5′ 4″</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question8′ value=’Height%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type8′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Right Handed or Left Handed:</td><td align=left><b>Lefty</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question9′ value=’Right+Handed+or+Left+Handed%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type9′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Heritage:</td><td align=left><b>Confusing…Puertorican and all that…</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question10′ value=’Your+Heritage%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type10′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>The Shoes You Wore Today:</td><td align=left><b>sandals</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question11′ value=’The+Shoes+You+Wore+Today%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type11′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Weakness:</td><td align=left><b>Can’t think of any</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question12′ value=’Your+Weakness%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type12′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Fears:</td><td align=left><b>Being exposed to the ghost of a dead child</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question13′ value=’Your+Fears%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type13′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Perfect Pizza:</td><td align=left><b>Cybelle’s Kitchen Sink</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question14′ value=’Your+Perfect+Pizza%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type14′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:</td><td align=left><b>Get my bachelor’s!!!!!</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question15′ value=’Goal+You+Would+Like+To+Achieve+This+Year%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type15′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:</td><td align=left><b>Ciao</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question16′ value=’Your+Most+Overused+Phrase+On+an+instant+messenger%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type16′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Thoughts First Waking Up:</td><td align=left><b>-blank-</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question17′ value=’Thoughts+First+Waking+Up%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type17′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Best Physical Feature:</td><td align=left><b>People compliment my legs…</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question18′ value=’Your+Best+Physical+Feature%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type18′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Bedtime:</td><td align=left><b>Varies</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question19′ value=’Your+Bedtime%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type19′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Your Most Missed Memory:</td><td align=left><b>There was this one time I got so drunk…I don’t remember that night at all. </b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question20′ value=’Your+Most+Missed+Memory%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type20′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Pepsi or Coke:</td><td align=left><b>Neither</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question21′ value=’Pepsi+or+Coke%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type21′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>MacDonalds or Burger King:</td><td align=left><b>BK</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question22′ value=’MacDonalds+or+Burger+King%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type22′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Single or Group Dates:</td><td align=left><b>Never done either</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question23′ value=’Single+or+Group+Dates%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type23′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:</td><td align=left><b>Don’t like Ice Tea</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question24′ value=’Lipton+Ice+Tea+or+Nestea%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type24′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Chocolate or Vanilla:</td><td align=left><b>Chocolate Cake and Vanilla Icecream</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question25′ value=’Chocolate+or+Vanilla%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type25′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Cappuccino or Coffee:</td><td align=left><b>Coffee</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question26′ value=’Cappuccino+or+Coffee%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type26′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you Smoke:</td><td align=left><b>No</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question27′ value=’Do+you+Smoke%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type27′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you Swear:</td><td align=left><b>Mostly in the car</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question28′ value=’Do+you+Swear%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type28′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you Sing:</td><td align=left><b>Just when I want it to rain</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question29′ value=’Do+you+Sing%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type29′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you Shower Daily:</td><td align=left><b>Of course!</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question30′ value=’Do+you+Shower+Daily%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type30′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Have you Been in Love:</td><td align=left><b>No</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question31′ value=’Have+you+Been+in+Love%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type31′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you want to go to College:</td><td align=left><b>Been there…Have not left since.</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question32′ value=’Do+you+want+to+go+to+College%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type32′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you want to get Married:</td><td align=left><b>It depends…</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question33′ value=’Do+you+want+to+get+Married%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type33′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you belive in yourself:</td><td align=left><b>Sometimes</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question34′ value=’Do+you+belive+in+yourself%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type34′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you get Motion Sickness:</td><td align=left><b>Not before THE ACCIDENT I didn’t</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question35′ value=’Do+you+get+Motion+Sickness%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type35′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you think you are Attractive:</td><td align=left><b>Once a year…On Halloween!</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question36′ value=’Do+you+think+you+are+Attractive%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type36′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Are you a Health Freak:</td><td align=left><b>No</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question37′ value=’Are+you+a+Health+Freak%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type37′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you get along with your Parents:</td><td align=left><b>Most of the day</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question38′ value=’Do+you+get+along+with+your+Parents%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type38′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you like Thunderstorms:</td><td align=left><b>Of course</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question39′ value=’Do+you+like+Thunderstorms%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type39′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Do you play an Instrument:</td><td align=left><b>I try</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question40′ value=’Do+you+play+an+Instrument%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type40′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:</td><td align=left><b>DUH!</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question41′ value=’In+the+past+month+have+you+Drank+Alcohol%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type41′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=center colspan=2><b><i>In the past month have you Smoked:</i></b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question42′ value=’In+the+past+month+have+you+Smoked%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type42′ value=”></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you been on Drugs:</td><td align=left><b>No ;P</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question43′ value=’In+the+past+month+have+you+been+on+Drugs%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type43′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you gone on a Date:</td><td align=left><b>No </b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question44′ value=’In+the+past+month+have+you+gone+on+a+Date%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type44′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you gone to a Mall:</td><td align=left><b>Yes </b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question45′ value=’In+the+past+month+have+you+gone+to+a+Mall%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type45′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:</td><td align=left><b>No </b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question46′ value=’In+the+past+month+have+you+eaten+a+box+of+Oreos%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type46′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you eaten Sushi:</td><td align=left><b>No </b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question47′ value=’In+the+past+month+have+you+eaten+Sushi%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type47′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you been on Stage:</td><td align=left><b>No : l</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question48′ value=’In+the+past+month+have+you+been+on+Stage%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type48′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you been Dumped:</td><td align=left><b>No </b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question49′ value=’In+the+past+month+have+you+been+Dumped%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type49′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:</td><td align=left><b>No </b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question50′ value=’In+the+past+month+have+you+gone+Skinny+Dipping%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type50′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>In the past month have you Stolen Anything:</td><td align=left><b>No ;P</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question51′ value=’In+the+past+month+have+you+Stolen+Anything%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type51′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Ever been Drunk:</td><td align=left><b>YES!</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question52′ value=’Ever+been+Drunk%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type52′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Ever been called a Tease:</td><td align=left><b>No </b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question53′ value=’Ever+been+called+a+Tease%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type53′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Ever been Beaten up:</td><td align=left><b>No </b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question54′ value=’Ever+been+Beaten+up%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type54′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Ever Shoplifted:</td><td align=left><b>No ;P</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question55′ value=’Ever+Shoplifted%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type55′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>How do you want to Die:</td><td align=left><b>It depends on the day and mood. Hung, head chopped off, bleeding to death for a ritual sacrifice, shot, eaten, heart attack while having sex (if that day ever comes)…Although, most of the times I would just like to die while I sleep.</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question56′ value=’How+do+you+want+to+Die%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type56′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>What do you want to be when you Grow Up:</td><td align=left><b>Archaeological Documentary and Fiction Maker</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question57′ value=’What+do+you+want+to+be+when+you+Grow+Up%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type57′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>What country would you most like to Visit:</td><td align=left><b>Everywhere!</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question58′ value=’What+country+would+you+most+like+to+Visit%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type58′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=center colspan=2><b><i>In a Boy/Girl..</i></b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question59′ value=’In+a+Boy%2FGirl..’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type59′ value=’2′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Favourite Eye Color:</td><td align=left><b>Any, it’s how they sparkle that matter</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question60′ value=’Favourite+Eye+Color%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type60′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Favourite Hair Color:</td><td align=left><b>As long as there is hair</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question61′ value=’Favourite+Hair+Color%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type61′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Short or Long Hair:</td><td align=left><b>What suits the face</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question62′ value=’Short+or+Long+Hair%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type62′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Height:</td><td align=left><b>Taller than me (5′ 4″)</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question63′ value=’Height%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type63′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Weight:</td><td align=left><b>Haven’t thought about it, and the scale can be deceiving</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question64′ value=’Weight%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type64′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Best Clothing Style:</td><td align=left><b>Whatever makes him look comfortable and nice</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question65′ value=’Best+Clothing+Style%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type65′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Number of Drugs I have taken:</td><td align=left><b>Lately there have been like three for back pains aqnd cold</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question66′ value=’Number+of+Drugs+I+have+taken%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type66′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Number of CDs I own:</td><td align=left><b>200+</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question68′ value=’Number+of+CDs+I+own%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type68′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Number of Piercings:</td><td align=left><b>2</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question69′ value=’Number+of+Piercings%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type69′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Number of Tattoos:</td><td align=left><b>None</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question70′ value=’Number+of+Tattoos%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type70′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Number of things in my Past I Regret:</td><td align=left><b>93% of my life</b><input type=’hidden’ name=’question71′ value=’Number+of+things+in+my+Past+I+Regret%3A’><input type=’hidden’ name=’type71′ value=’1′></td></tr><tr><td colspan=2 align=center><input type=’submit’ value=’Take This Survey’><BR><a href=’http://www.kwiz.biz/simplesurveys/create-survey.php’>CREATE YOUR OWN!</a> – or – <a href=’http://www.kwiz.biz/simplesurveys/paid-surveys.php’>GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!</a></td></tr></form></table>

Darn it!

May the gods bless Starbucks and their free internet connection.

I recently acquired wireless internet and in less than a moth is already not working…And they wont come home to fix it until thursday. The assholes!

Anyway. Finally summer school is over…well, sort of. There is this final paper we have to hand in on Monday. But it’s all good.

We went to excavate a very famous place where I live, for this class. Too bad there wasn’t much we could do. I know it sounds crazy, but I wish we had had more time so we could dig more and draw more conclusions, etc.

Well, I have to work on the paper now. I guess I’ll talk about this tomorrow.

“We want more than this world’s got to offer
We want more than this world’s got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live”

Switchfoot

Was I meant to live for so much more? Or I’m just kidding myself. Why acquire knowledge of things and places that will always be far from my reach?  I’m so dissapointed with life…what it’s offering and how it isn’t making me part of the bidding process. So many dreams that are waiting not to become reality.

I’m sick of being a fool. People tell me I dream too much, when in fact my expectations of what I can get or become are lower than average.

I hate me. The way I am. How unwelcoming the world is for someone with my lack of means and unreal desire to thrive.

How pathetic can my posts be. I wanted to get a voice, my voice…But I guess I’m many things, and in that confussion I just loose myself and talk as if I were someone else. I just want to be one person, I’m sick of adapting to the situation and person that’s the nearest. So tired…

But I can’t help it. So many thoughts, problems, wishes, aspirations, worries, happineses….

Why can’t he just love me? Doesn’t he know that if he doesn’t I wont love him back…? I refuse to expose myself to that kind of suffering. I wont fall in love with him because he doesn’t love me, and if he doesn’t by now he never will.

I wish I had somebody to love…and that would love me back. Too bad I’m too ugly and disgusting. For my standards I wouldn’t expose someone I love to what I have to see every day…so awful…so nasty…Why can’t I be normal?

Why can’t I have everything I want?…ok, everything I need?

Good-Bye