Not really. I have to admit I really enjoy them.

It could be because I hope that, someday, I’ll meet a man that will make me feel just like the lead character makes the female lead (and every straight female, bi, or gay man in the audience) feel. Or, maybe, I’m expecting to get through fictional others the satisfactions I am unable to attain in real life. It could also be that I just watch them to remind myself that all I’m seeing is a work of fiction and that, although some things do happen, it’s not reality but an ideal and I shouldn’t feel bad because they are feeding my head and desires with unreal possibilities.

Then, there comes a movie, or a part in most, that happens to have a leading man that reminds you of someone in your life; the expressions they make, the conversations you have had, the moments you have gone through…Crossing that comfortable line between reality and fiction that you had wished to make wider, not transparent…and then wonder, why?

Why don’t we get sequels more often for romantic comedies? What really happens next? Why do they always leave it at the fairy tales’ ending “and they lived happily ever after”? What happens…is there any cheating, heartache, breakup? Has each found the person they would not mind spending the rest of their lives with and just die together from old age?  Do any of the people that write, make, perform these illusions go through that happily ever after, or even yearn it like some of us?

I watch romantic comedies, because I like them…they make me laugh and I would take that over tears every single day. But sometimes a good laugh has its price and sometimes that price is being reminded of good memories that make you smile. Memories you just want to repress because those smiles turn into frowns brought upon by other memories which happen to be attached to those that cross the fiction line.

Why a guilty pleasure? Because the frowns do not keep me from watching. Sometimes I even do it on purpose…I yearn to be reminded, secretly (or does this make it openly?), of those feelings that did not only trigger my passion but also an unbelievable bliss…Those I had always heard about in songs, read about in books, watched on TV and movies, but never thought of them as anything other than fiction until they happened. But, I yearned for them…I guess I still do…

So, now I’m admitting to be a hopeful romantic inside that iron box I have succesfully built over the years so no one can hurt me. Too bad I left a little hole to watch where I was going…

So, thank the gods for romantic comedies?  Sure. Pleasure through guilt can be very satisfying.

AT LAST

2006 IS OVER!

As I told those friends that called me yesterday, “I do not dare eat anything this evening until after midnight. With my luck during this year, I will probably get the one poisoned piece of ham if I eat before the end of 2006″.

I didn’t get food poisoning, so I guess my precaussions were worth it. Even if they were in vain.

My cousin taught me a New Year’s ritual last night (or should I say early this morning). Since it still is the first day of the year, maybe some of you may try it and see if it works:

Get twelve grapes, one for each month of the year. As you eat each, make a wish. The first for January, the second for February, the third for March, and so on until you get to December.

I recommend not too eat too much before you do this because it’s kind of tiresome. Although, if you get grapes without seeds it may be faster, but, where’s the fun in that?

As for me, eleven of those grapes were spent on wishing for a single, rich, straight man that will love me. I later thought to myself, “shit, I should have said that it be someone that I loved back. If this is for real I may get an unwelcome suitor.” *shudders* Then, my cousin was so kind to point out, “well, you should have asked for it to be the same
man as well, now you may get eleven different single, rich, straight men who love you.” Not really something I had thought about, but, could that be so bad? ;P

Anyway, the point of that anecdote; be specific and careful with your wishes…One never knows if this grape thing is true or not, but just in case…

I hope all of you had a great New Year’s Eve and that the year 2007 brings you many happy moments, health, prosperity and love.

May all of you that read this achieve everything that you set your mind to do.

Lots of love,

rj

Today, for the first time ever, I have left my home during the 1st of January during daylight hours…What a delightful thing.

I say I have witnessed a miracle for it is a Monday and as I was driving AT NOON…there was almost no traffic on the road! Literally! If there were thirteen cars I could sight, then I’m being generous with my estimation.

This is something unprecedented for me and, oh, so welcome. I love new experiences such as this.

Today, little after the clock struck twelve in the morning, rain began to pour down from the sky. This excited me because I felt like it was, somehow, purifying the places it fell upon from lasts year’s sorrows giving way to a new “aura of hope”. And I just love the smell of rain, don’t you? As a matter of fact, when I woke up at eight the first thing I noticed was the smell of the morning’s dew, the breeze entering through the windows, the utter and complete silence that surrounded me.

A little time later, it started to rain once again so I thought of using that time to send some friend “happy new year’s” wishes. Somehow, it felt that I owed it to them and I didn’t feel like procrastinating such a thing at all.

After the rain had fallen, the sun came out and a beautiful blue sky with scarce gray and white clouds could be seen through the gaps in the windows. So, I decided to go back to my house sitting duties.

And that’s when the miracle started. As I drove the first thing I noticed was the lack of traffic, like I mentioned before. Completely deserted streets but for the cars parked on the driveways. I wondered then if this was something that only happened here, in Puerto Rico, or would people notice similar occurrences elsewhere?

A man peeing on his rooftop, thinking no one would notice…
A guaraguao (red tailed hawk) flying through the air…
The remnants from one of last night’s accidents at a street light…
The fallen leaves been moved by the blowing of the wind and not by some car just passing by…
Light after light turning green upon my arrival so I wouldn’t have to stop…
People buying their morning bread at a bakery at noon…
And the radio playing songs such as “Alive” by P. O.D. to enhance the feelings of the experience…

It was truly a magnificent thing.

I guess I have found a new tradition

Well, it looks like it will start to rain again…ah, that smell…
I feel so alive
For the very first time
I can’t deny you
I feel so alive
I feel so alive
For the very first time
And I think I can fly (fly)

I just hope this isn’t some kind of cosmic joke been played upon me. Oh, well, I guess only time will tell.